One Day (a poem)

One day I will let go.

    One day I might try again.

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These days,

    These days, I sit and wait,

    I self-medicate,

    Do what I can to distract myself from the pain.

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Someday.

    Someday I might try.

    I might stop waiting,

        For cessation,

        For distraction,

    Telling myself that this is normal,

    Alone here with this you-shaped hole within a body that was never a me-shaped anything.

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Those days,

    Those days were everything.

    You broke me.

    That’s not how you remember it,

    But that’s not your fault.

    That’s not how you tell it,

    But that’s not your fault.