The first time we killed him wasn’t our fault. It was an accident. We could hardly be blamed for that. I mean, what the hell was he thinking scaring us like that? It looked like someone had tried to hack his right arm off with a dull machete. It hung by only a few tendons.… Continue reading The First Time We Killed Ted
Tag: fiction
Raise Your Right Hand
Now “Raise your right hand and repeat after me.” The bailiff, a shorter-than-average man, waits for my compliance before continuing. He is bald on top; a half circle of fine white hair hugs his pale, wrinkled head. A piece of toilet paper peeks out from his starched collar, a dot of blood in its center.… Continue reading Raise Your Right Hand
The Cask of Magnus
I step up and into the cabinet. Angela shuts the door behind me. She and my other three assistants spin the box. Slower, ladies. You want me to throw up in here? We rehearsed this trick hundreds of times. In rehearsal, it worked flawlessly. Naturally. This is our first live performance. If it goes as… Continue reading The Cask of Magnus
Kiki the Killer Kitten
Now The knife is so sharp I don’t feel it cut me as I reach it into the soapy water. I don’t notice the blood. Do it deeper. “What was that?” That’s odd. I thought I’d heard something. Kiki sits on the drying mat to my right, nestled between the inverted wok and wine glasses.… Continue reading Kiki the Killer Kitten
The Third Tarp
Harold’s eyes jab at the tarps again like a tongue probing a missing tooth. He sighs in disgust at all of it. Two missing teeth. Two. The first two, now two more. It’s the heat that bothers him the most today. After the power went out for the third and final time, that was the… Continue reading The Third Tarp
One Last Job
I reach the address and scan for any red flags. I hate aborting a job once I’ve started, but I don’t take unnecessary risks. Ever. No curtains move in any of the windows with sightlines on 1311 State Street. Everyone is watching TV or fucking. That or they’re not home. Either way, I’m good to… Continue reading One Last Job
Desert Highway (a dream)
In the end, the most surprising thing about the video was that no two people ever remembered it the same. It was a modern-day Rorschach test. It was only three minutes and twelve seconds long, but people saw different things when they recounted what they had watched. One thing everyone agreed on was the video… Continue reading Desert Highway (a dream)
Wave Buddy 1000
What’s this? ‘The Wave Buddy 1000?’” he reads from the empty box on the kitchen island. “Did you buy more stuff we don’t need?” he says. He picks up the gadget’s thin instruction manual and skims it. She’s rooting around in the refrigerator. The gadget is a bowl-shaped, metallic mesh grid; he assumes it must… Continue reading Wave Buddy 1000
Wasp
MONDAY: I use the camera on my phone to see inside the bathroom vent. The buzzing sound has been a nuisance for weeks now, and I was investigating the source of the noise. I can hear it; a dry, scratchy rustling inside the walls. I’ve lived here less than a month. I’m still shocked by… Continue reading Wasp
A House with Enough Space
“I need lots of space,” Trish had told me at our first meeting. I had to solve her problem. My reputation was on the line. I wanted to point out that if she bought a house with more space, she would fill it as well, and soon, she’d be looking to upsize again. But people’s… Continue reading A House with Enough Space
Broken Toys
The limp line of people staggers out of the fog as if they had just woken up. None of them remembers what came before, none of them knows another. None of them knows what is in store for them. None of them have any inkling of what came before or the grand adventure that awaits.… Continue reading Broken Toys
Descartes’ Darkness
Darkness so complete it erases all memories of light. I grow anxious. Am I blind? I try opening my eyes. But something feels wrong. I reach to touch my face, and the unworldly otherness that results is so overwhelming that I forget all about touching my eyes. Am I paralyzed? And blind? Where am I?… Continue reading Descartes’ Darkness
Pause!
I’m such an easy mark for tech gear and apps, a true tech-addict. I never stood a chance with the PAUSE marketing hype. They loaded the ad with emotional hooks. Tired of feeling stressed? Tired of deadlines? Feel like you’ll never get ahead? . You need a break! Relax like a champion! . You need PAUSE. I… Continue reading Pause!
The Dandelion and the Hammer
The patrol car hadn’t even come to a complete stop when the sheriff pushed open the door, and then, like a magic trick, he was out of the car and standing beside it, the flashing lights still running. His deputy reached past him and killed the engine. “Ain’t this something? What is this, Carl? The… Continue reading The Dandelion and the Hammer
The Sixth Sowing Ritual
Ritual Day Whose name shall I put on my slip? Shirley’s eyes skimmed over her fellow tribe members. She didn’t dare write a man’s name. She shivered at the audacity of such an act. It would have to be a woman’s name. Three Weeks Earlier The day was sunny, and everyone in the compound was… Continue reading The Sixth Sowing Ritual
What to Expect When You Can’t Remember a Meat
Drew warned me about the strange hunger pangs I’d have, but I didn’t think this was what she meant. She’d had three children. I only wanted one, but it looks like I’m getting two. It’s twins for me. Identical, at least that’s what they think. How can they know any of this? The sonogram faces… Continue reading What to Expect When You Can’t Remember a Meat
The Seventh Word
“But it’s just seven words?” Carl sips his overpriced latte and leans back in his chair. We’re sitting in the corner at his favorite Starbucks. We always meet here. His beard is flecked with the foamy milk from his drink. Jesus, Carol. What did you see in this uncouth simpleton? “That’s right. Well, that’s what… Continue reading The Seventh Word
Gamer
I glanced at the poster. It hung on the front wall above the third of five large monitors. Each of the screens mirrored one of the five tournament player’s monitor in the room. I swiveled in my seat and saw three cameras. That’s weird. We were informed the tournament would not be televised. If it… Continue reading Gamer
The Ballroom Bubbleverse — Part 9
The Second Cycle. Bar East. I was very drunk by the time the end of the fourth hour loomed large before us. We all sat watching the stage from our table just inside Bar East. (We had equipped our ballroom with two bars, the other was Bar West, obviously.) Which was stupid. We forgot that… Continue reading The Ballroom Bubbleverse — Part 9
The Ballroom Bubbleverse — Part 8
I was sitting in my Jaguar, double-checking everything in my luggage. Doubts that I hadn’t anticipated were storming through my head. I never understood why or how I was invited to join Prospero Ballrooms, Inc. When I looked at the list of members, it was populated by people far wealthier than me. I was barely… Continue reading The Ballroom Bubbleverse — Part 8
Stories by Shawn 